Abuse is any behavior that one partner uses to control the others and control has no place in a relationship.
According to National Domestic Violence identifies six categories of abuse;
• Physical
• Emotional
• Verbal
• Sexual
• Digital
• Stalking
Physical threats and violence to you, your children, your family or your pets are the most obvious signs of abuse. When abusive people are stripped of control, they can become dangerous. Fear can be a factor even when it does not tip into abuse. Fear can contribute to the development of abusive behavior in children; it would be because of expression of view through speech, through actions, when there is no good ear for a child to hear him/her.In our Islamic society level of patience is decreasing and violence is increasing not even towards human but also towards animals.May incidents had been witnessed in the Pakistan in recent times about not be tolerant towards animals.On this societal issue Ayesha Chundrigarh who is as well running Country largest animal rescue foundation, written and later was on air, short film named “AISA HI HOTA HAI:.was directed by Marina Khan ,while starring Sania Saeed , Kulsoom Aftab etc. it was Pakistan first film on animal abuse from psychotherapeutic lens. She explained an approach that focuses on changing problematic behaviors, feelings and thoughts by discovering their unconscious meanings and motivations. Allah Almighty has said” Be merciful to those on the earth and the One above the heavens will have mercy upon you”.
Our Prophet Hazrat Muhammad SAW said’ If Allah loves a people, He afflicts them with trials.
“Whoever is patient has the reward of patience, and whoever is apprehensive has the fault of apprehension”. A very astute observation! Patience is indeed a valuable virtue that can benefit individuals and society as a whole. In today’s fast –paced world, it’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle and lose sight of the importance of patience. In Pakistan, factors like population growth, economic pressure, and social change can contribute to a sense of urgency and impatience. However, cultivating patience can have numerous benefits, such as;
1. Improved mental-health and well-being
2. Better relationships and communication
3. Increased empathy and understanding
4. More thoughtful decision-making.
5. Greater resilience in the face of challenges
To promote patience in Pakistan society, we could;
1. Encourage mindfulness and self-reflection practices
2. Foster a culture of acting listening and open dialogue
3. Support education and personal development initiatives
4. Promote community service and volunteerism
5. Celebrate stories of Prophets on patience and perseverance in media and everyday life.
Fear is a learned behavior so abuse can indeed be a learned behavior, often perpetuated by patterns of behavior and attitudes that are passed down through generations, cultural norms, or social norms. Researchers have shown that individuals who experience witness abuse in their childhood or surroundings are more likely to repeat those patterns in their own relationships or interactions. This can be due to various factors, such as:
When children experience fear, it can lead to:
1, AGGRESSION: Fear can trigger a fight-or-flight response, leading to aggressive behavior,
2. DEFENSIVENESS: Fear can cause children to become overly defensive, leading to hurtful or abusive behavior.
3. LASHING OUT: Children may lash out at others due to feelings of fear, anxiety or vulnerability.
4. Mimicking Behavior: Children may imitate abusive behavior they have witnessed or experienced, as a way to cope with their own fear.
5. POWER DYNAMICS: Fear can lead children to seek control and power over others, potentially resulting in abusive behavior.
Common sources of fear that may contribute to abusive behavior in children include:
1. Physical or emotional abuse
2. Neglect or abandonment
3. Bullying
4. Exposure to violence or trauma
5. Insecure attachment
6. Fear of failure or rejection
7. Fear of being hurt or vulnerable
To prevent fear from contributing to abusive behavior:
8. Provide a safe and nurturing and address their fears.
9. Validate and address their fears
10. Teach healthy coping mechanism
11. Model empathy and respect
12. Encourage open communication
13. Foster a sense of security and trust
14. Seek professional help if needed
By addressing fear and promoting a supportive environment, you can help children develop healthy relationships and reduce the likelihood of abusive behavior.
Cultivating patience in daily life can have a profound impact on our well-being and relationships .Here is some ways to practice patience:
1. Mindfulness: Focus on the present moment, without judgement.Mindfulness practices like meditation and deep breathing can help you stay calm and patient.
2. Set realistic expectations & firm Belief in Allah Almighty: Understand that everything takes time, and things don’t always go as planned. There is supreme power, everything is in control of Him, and trust in Almighty things would get better at the better time He knows and according to his plan.
3. Practice Empathy; Put yourself in others shoes and try to understand their perspectives. This can help you respond more patiently to challenging situations.
4. Take Breaks and Prioritize Self-care; Make time for activities that bring you joy and help you relax, reducing stress and increasing patience.
5. Reframe challenges as opportunities; View difficult situations as chances to learn and grow, rather than threats to your ego or schedule.
6. Develop Gratitude; Focus on the good things in your life, no matter how small. Gratitude can help shift your perspective and increase patience.
7. Practice patience in small ways; Start small by waiting in line without getting frustrated or taking a few deep breaths before responding to a difficult email.
8. Seek Role models; Observe people who embody patience and among all we have our Holy Prophet of an excellent example of such actions exercising. His life should be our role model to follow and practice,
9. Cultivate Self-compassion; Treat yourself with kindness and understanding when you make mistakes or encounter setbacks.
10. Practice patience in nature; Spend time in nature, observing its rhythms and cycles, which can help you develop a sense of patience and perspective.
Remember, patience is a muscle that can be developed with practice and consistency. Start with small steps, and be patient with yourself as you work to cultivate greater patience in your daily life!
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