If we lived in a slightly different world, we could see more of it!!!
Ten things to be remembered before leaving the house
Dear sons and brothers!
1. The fact that our society is led by men requires you to be doubly responsible. You cannot afford to be involved in careless indulgence. It would bring shame to the whole system run by us.
2. Since you proudly carry the family honor affixed to your name, each act that you do will be seen as a direct reflection of the family you come from. Don’t undermine the name of your ancestors by doing anything immoral.
3. Since you will carry our legacy forward, it’s in YOU the family honor resides. We don’t want to curtail your freedom but be mindful of the fact that our Ghairat is greatly reliant on the kind of behavior you adopt.
4. There are hardly any people who know us by the names of our daughters. We get known by your name. Without letting this fact suffocate your existence, always do what is right.
5. You spend most part of the day outside the house. Public spaces are legitimately claimed by you, therefore you are responsible for how the world outside looks like for others. Streets don’t belong to you alone. Don’t make them unlivable for others especially for girls and minors.
6. Lower your gaze and your echoing laughter when there are some women around. Good boys don’t make others uncomfortable with their eyes or suggestive remarks.
7. Women are humans not a topic for your amusement. Limit the amount of talk you dedicate to discussing women merely because they are women. Maybe you don’t see any harm in doing it privately within your group of friends but be mindful of the fact that our mind starts thinking in the direction of our talk. The more you objectify a woman in your casual talk, the more unrespectful you are likely to become towards their existence and sentiments.
8. We live in a world of visual triggers. You will have plenty of them outside; living, non-living. They won’t get erased for you. You have to learn to live amongst all this. It can be difficult but not unlearnable.
9. You are the finest creature of God. He has not left you to be devastated by the ‘testosterone curse’. Block everything/everyone that might lead to it. Learn to manage the hormonal rush. Your dignity is far precious than a momentary slip.
10. You are born male doesn’t make you a MAN. It is an honor you can earn or lose along the way. There is a litmus test for your masculinity. Till the time everyone around you feels safe and respected, you are a MAN. The moment your presence becomes threatening to someone in any possible manner, you have lost the title. Don’t return home after losing the title. You have lost us too.
The writer is Assistant Professor of English at Govt Degree College for Women Sargodha